Finalists for Best of Bakersfield Bands on nlbelardes.com:
Best band:
American Standard
Mento Buru
The Filthies
Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers
CD of the Year:
Dalloways
American Standard
Lostocean
Near Miss Mallet
Performance of the Year:
The Filthies
Karmahitlist
Midnight Panic
Rocky Nash
Lostocean
The Hips
American Standard
Myndsick
Black Jerks
Up and coming:
Norfolk
Another Year
Vanity Avenue
Nunez
Lostocean
Dante Esperanza
Best on the Web: Mystery?
Photo of the Year: Mystery?
Song of the year: Mystery?
The year ends tonight and a new era begins. Where will you be? What will you do? Have you set goals? Will you achieve them?
Don't let your dreams dry up.
In the meantime, here's one of the last great photos of the year. This was a lucky moment, a great moment at the end of a Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers song as they jammed out at the Crystal Palace just after the Bakersfield Condors got lucky in a come-from-behind win. Tonight, Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers will play two songs at the Rabobank arena during the first intermission...
Buck Owens Crystal Palace, where Fatt Katt has played more than 50 times!
Happy New Year!!
Oh yes, you can subscribe to the Buck City Podcast! Go to iTUNES and check it out... or plug in the feed to a player.
Or you can just download the MP3 of episode #21.
Hear n.l. call the play-by-play as the Fresno Wingless Flappers take on the Bakersfield Condors and lose in OT...
There's more:
Meet the war days director as he calls Zebras "slime"
Hear as N.L. meets the alleged 'book burner' mom at the Rabobank arena
Listen to N.L. rant about Johnny Depp and Sleepy Hallow Lane
Hear N.L. scream "Goal!" like a Telemundo TV announcer
Find out why episode 21s entire episode is dedicated to Dorktown.net's Mikie and Bells.
Then, after the game at Buck Owen's Crystal Palace hear N.L. interview Preston Nash of The Puck Show as they talk about the new hockey CD Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1, Matt Riley of the Condors, and Preston's amp-smashing show...
In the final interview, hear Puck talk about Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers. Hear Puck scream at Fatt Katt, and about the Puck Show's new streaming audio during their weeknight shows from 4-7PM on KGEO...
The day of the CD release show for Midnight Panic went just as I expected. It was a day filled with hidden surprises, great music, and special moments.
Right away I knew it was an evening for the Buck City Podcast. (Listen to episode 20). I sat at home in as much of a Grinch spirit as I could muster. I had tied up most of my funds into a hockey CD that didn’t make it to the shelves before Christmas. That was enough to put me in a Grinch mood: I turned green and hairy, started wondering why I was the misfit kid from Whoville; I was getting over a cold, working on a new novel, and ignoring Christmas.… Oh, I blogged. Blogging is fun. It’s fun to play the Grinch even when I’m not grumpy. I took on Bakersfield Bob, the Lords of Bakersfield, and ever so quietly, the evil spirit of my brother who I had heard months ago wanted to sue me over a blog about the Pizza-a-go-go. In a cryptic email that dastardly Nate Berg mentioned something to the effect of, “Why would your brother’s lawyer contact me?”
How weird is that? I guess they were trying to join sides. I did some research, and, wow… who knows if this is true. It could have been Darth and the Emperor taking on nlbelardes.com. Ah, the family gossip runs deep in the Belardes clan. It’s become the Hatfields and the McCoys. Remind me to tell you all stories ‘off the record’.
So there I was, Grinch supreme; I called Matt Munoz to see if he was going to the Midnight Panic show. Nope, he was headed to see Crosby Loggins and the Namedroppers, a 6-member band, nearly done with a new CD that includes some of Matt’s old chums as well as the son of some guy in Supertramp, Kenny Loggins son (Crosby), and Paul Cartwright. No, Paul is not a missing cousin from the old Bonanza TV show with a side shooter and a pal named Hoss. Paul is one of the best fiddlers/violinists I’ve ever seen. In fact, all of the guys in the Namedroppers are incredible…
Anyway, that’s where old Latin ska-king, ‘Mentos Candy Buru’, the Peppermint ska-brother of Latino Christmas cheer was headed. He was supposed to show up with Cesareo Garasa, but because of moving refrigerators, it just wasn’t to be.
The new ska-king of Bakotopia and matildakay.com
Matildakay showed up, and we were off to check out the action at Fishlips before the big party at Montgomery World Plaza with Midnight Panic.
At Fishlips I quickly tucked myself into a corner. I interviewed Paul Cartwright for the Buck City Podcast and talked shop a little bit about what’s new in his world. Matt Munoz arrived and we did some fun bantering on the podcast. Oh yeah, earlier in the day I met Monty Byrom, legend of Bakersfield blues and glam rock wondersongs. Byrom wandered up for some humor and choice cursing for the podcast. I loved it. He wasn’t taking the podcast too seriously. That’s OK, neither do I. I just let artists talk while throwing in with each artist about the day’s alleged book burning. (Kids these days. All seems to be a rumor started by a kid who took a friend’s mother too seriously for confiscating the book and joking. I still haven’t seen proof either way. Waiting for photo-proof).
Paul Cartwright, hero of fiddlerisms and Paulapawowzas...
Talk about a full day! Book burnings, podcasts, fiddler legends a-jammin’, blues rock legends, ska heroes, and I hadn’t even yet jetted out to meet with Rock Star Marky Chavez, a hard rocker who knows how to work a crowd. Oh yes, even Flower in the Dale pointed that out when she said those exact words, “He knows how to work the crowd.”
Just before Midnight Panic hit the stage I wandered into the MWP. Montgomery World Plaza is a cool Mexican marketplace, once a Montgomery World store out on F Street near Golden State Highway and near some of the literary scenes from Lords: Part One: the murder of Ricky Rollins, the meetings at the Hacienda Hotel, Carol and the hairstylist pad, all right around the corner…
Marky Chavez gettin' into the 'IT'
Inside, a huge crowd had gathered. Marky Chavez made his way through the throngs of kids, all waiting to hear Midnight Panic’s full set. Their new CDs and T-shirts lined the tables and I got me a Jarritos Tamarind drink that would fire me up for taking some photos. I can honestly say I have never seen such a crowd at the MWP. And the drink was mighty tasty.
I ran into hard-working radio personality Jarad Mann (Meathead, Desi with Rocky Nash) from 106.1 KRAB radio. He was getting ready to film a video of Midnight Panic. I later gave Jarad his first ever interview. It made him a little nervous to be on the Buck City Podcast. We laughed. He growled that I have a “hidden rage” and it was all good.
Midnight Panic all worked the crowd. Marky Chavez talked to the kids, thanked lots of folks, and sidestepped some technical problems with sound and created a memorable show that kids who attended will remember for quite some time. The rest of the band’s stage presence was tight, energetic, and rocked the room, hard.
Taking the lead of his MP Crew, Marky tore into their set and sang through MP songs with an incredible amount of high-energy rock that had him jumping around the stage and groovin’ along with Peter, Mike and Matt.
It's all in the shoes...
Here’s the set list:
Celebrate
Territorial Pissing (Nirvana)
You don’t have to be afraid
I want to know
Tonight is our last night
Ugly
Give me one chance
Bring me back to life
Can’t find a way
Let me go
No one here is safe
A beautiful lie
Of course Marky had to go shirtless which ‘wowed’ the young ladies who weren’t just there to hear the music. I wanted to be entertained while some of the young kids go for the music and the rock star. Oh yes, the kids moshed and honed in on the high-octane songs of Midnight Panic. Of course I just chilled, happy to know I could now recognize most of the songs from being out on the Ranch.
Only here there were no chickens and horses, just us rock hungry farm animals hip to the new Midnight Panic music chow…
Radioman Jarad sneaks videography lesson 1 in...
Toward the beginning of the set, Jarad Mann jumped onstage to film for a video. I popped onto the stage once but mostly backed off and took some pics of the historic Midnight Panic backyard boogie show from a safe distance. I could almost swear Marky serenaded me with the final song of the night, "A Beautiful Lie". I think he was singing and screaming in anger because I wouldn’t show him a lick of Lords: Part Two. I might share a few kids books with him, though, just for singin’ to me…
A mad mosh moment. Connection point to the PANIC-stricken beat...
Keep up with the happenings of Midnight Panic. They will be going into the studio to write three new tracks so they can re-release a full-length CD with DVD extras… That should be out in March through Orphan distribution…
It has been a while, but the Buck City Podcast is back! This is a legendary show from the streets of Bakersfield. Why? You get to meet:
Fiddler Paul Cartwright
Ska-king Matt Munoz
Blues legend Monty Byrom
matildakay.com
Jarad Mann (Meathead)
Marky Chavez of Midnight Panic as he talks about their big CD release show...
Oh and there's more. I talk about book burnings with my guests who all give their two cents on the topic. Oh yes, rock stars do have opinions...
We talk about Bakotopia and Mike Generic of B.U.M.S...
More on the alleged book burnings: blog 1, blog 2
Check out the promos for dorktown.net and fresnofamous.com, both Fresno podcasts promoted right here in Bakersfield. Only on nlbelardes.com will you see rival towns promoted. You can check out headlines from their blogs on thebuzzblogs.com
Download: Episode #20 Book burnings and Midnight Panic or go subscribe on iTUNES...
If you do click on a chicklet, try podnova or podcast alley. But don't discount iTunes. The Buck City Podcast is now on iTunes, Podfeed, Podnova, Podcast, PodcastHostDirectory, PodTower, Podcast Directory, Podcast Pickle, Podcasting News, podcaster world, Odeo.com and Podfeeder... and yes, I did say iTunes! That's the biggie. Go ahead and look, you'll see the Buck City Podcast right there in the music directory...
And no, you don't have to have a MAC to download iTunes. Just go to apple.com and download right now! It's great! A perfect search engine for podcasts, a great look and feel, and you can listen with ease, with auto updates!
A friend of mine got this $325.00 bottle of wine from a French ambassador...
What did you get in your stocking?
I woke this morning talking to Flower on the Dale over the phone who said, "They're talking about your hockey songs on TV."
"Whoah!"
I turned on the television and there was Patchboy(scroll to end of article to see Patchboy and Boo Berry) talking about hockey songs, Condors, and the upcoming 27 hour hockeython to battle cancer...
Read the Condor's Press Release and get your tickets to the games for December 30th and 31st. Hey thanks, Patchboy!
National Christian Recording Artist to Perform this Friday; Legends Game on Saturday
Condors to Ring in New Year with 27 Hours of Hockey to Fight Cancer
The Bakersfield Condors will ring in the new year by holding the 2nd Annual Faith & Family Night this Friday, and the 2nd Annual Condors Fighting Cancer Hockey-Thon this Saturday.
The Condors will take on the Fresno Falcons Friday, December 30th, at 7pm at the Rabobank Arena. National Christian recording artist Paul Wright will perform during the 2nd intermission and hold an hour-long concert after the game, sponsored by Telemundo 11, KDUV 100.1 and Island Styles. Paul Wright is known for his hit song “Take This Life,” which landed him on the Air-1 Top 10 charts. Friday is also Sierra Mist Discount Night, fans can receive $2 off any ticket by presenting the Sierra Mist two-liter neckringer coupon found at all Albertson’s and Rite Aid stores while supplies last.
Friday’s game against the Fresno Falcons will also kick off the Condors Fighting Cancer Hockey-Thon. The Hockey-Thon will raise money for Link to Life in the battle against breast cancer. Last year $23,872 was raised during the event. The puck will drop at 11:59pm for the first game at the Bakersfield Ice Sports Center located at 1325 Q Street. Teams will play throughout the night and the day of the 31st.
At 5pm on December 31st, the Hockey-Thon will move to the Rabobank Arena for the Legends Game featuring former Condors Kevin Barrett, Jamie Cooke, Steve Dowhy, Daniel Kim, Brian McCarthy, Glen Mears, Al Murphy, Paul Rosebush and Assistant Head Coach and former NHLer Mark Pederson, Iraq war veteran Chris Jackson, Jeff Fisher from the Fresno State hockey team, as well as other local celebrities. Admission to the Legends game is free with a ticket to Saturday’s Condors game. Doors will open at 4:45pm to accommodate the Legends Game. Jerseys worn during the Legends game will be auctioned off during the Condors game that night to assist with the money raising effort for Link to Life.
The Condors will face off against the Stockton Thunder on Saturday, December 31st. Saturday’s game, sponsored by Bright House Networks and KUZZ 107.9, will conclude 27 straight hours of hockey. Immediately following the game, the Condors will hold a special New Year’s Eve Kids Countdown, complete with a ball dropping ceremony and party favors, for our younger fans who have an early bedtime.
Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers will perform outside on the Centennial Plaza at 6pm and inside the arena during the first intermission. The band will perform their “Condors Fight Song” and “Let’s Go Score a Goal” from the Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. 1 compilation album.
After the game on Friday, forward Joel Irving and defenseman Reagan Leslie will be signing autographs at the Holiday Inn Select Autograph Booth. Forwards Scott Borders and Nick Economakos will be signing autographs after the game on Saturday.
I have heard from another source now that the book burning statement was taken out of context. I have also had comments on my blog possibly from friends of parents of the kids whose books were allegedly confiscated and burned. Was it all a joke from a parent trying to be humorous? Oh, it gets better. This was taken from the comment on the fiery blog regarding an alleged book burning. Read on:
More Information: As a friend of the supposed bookburner,I can tell you the truth of the matter. And as a friend of your sources, I can tell you that they took a joking statement out of context & fed it to your ego. As a matter of fact, as I write this response, one of those supposedly burned books sits right in front of me. LOL...
You also fail to mention that the books you provided to be given out to the High School kids at the LAN party get together was actually held at Cornerstone Church on Calloway Dr. The parent in question was under the impression that this was a Christian sponsered event and was a bit upset when the underage youth(your sources)came home with a book full of profanity and descriptions of homesexual encounters. I assume you must be one of those who no longer believe a parent has the right to determine what their minor child is exposed to? Freedom of the press & all? Freedom for your views to be stated? I'll be curious to see how long this response remains on your blog, let's see if you live up to your own values and not censor opposing views. As for the book, I think you paint a good picture of the Gay Community. Where your book fails is this "secret" is not just an issue within Kern County but an issue in the Gay Community as a whole. And as far as the Homophobia comment that's as far from the truth as can be. Both the "bookburner" and myself have friends who consider themselves "Gay". We love the people but do not believe in the lifestyle as Christian Believers. Well, now you have the truth of the situation. Sorry to say but like a lot of today's media, you didn't find out the facts or check your sources and blew a little story out of proportion to get some publicity. Sorry to burst your bubble! Mike
Of course I had to answer Mike's paranoid rant with my own comments:
First off, my source gave me a first person account. If that source lied, then let the truth come out. I'm all for the truth.
As for the homophobic comment, per the source, I had every right to comment on what was told to me.
We're definitely getting different story versions here.
As for the Lords of Bakersfield being a 'gay community issue'? No. There is a difference between the gay community and illegal activities with minors and city government, media, and other folk murdering and taking advantage of a trusting community.
I have to say, if you have gay friends, then you are homophobic if you think gays are into murdering as part of their community... Lords activities are plain illegal wherever they occur, regardless of sexual orientation.
As for the church and minors. Check out what's on your kids' computers and look at what games they're playing and TV shows they are watching... you sure don't have a firm grasp on it.
That's bad parenting.
By the way, the LAN party was at Cornerstone Church, the very same church that approves ultra-violent video games being played on their premises, and punk rock concerts. We're not talking a conservative hair-parted-down-the-side Missionary Baptist environment here. Are you aware of the content of every one of those punk songs and how some of those punk bands condone violence at various venues?
Get a grip. Sexual content in a book as read by paranoid parents paints a more devious picture than the Lords murders themselves.
Just as I was writing my last entry I was called by Preston Nash of The Puck Show. We went live and I talked about the book burning possibly being a hoax. But then I spoke about the real issue being that the Lords of Bakersfield are not your typical gay community, and that the issue is illegal activities allegedly committed by the dastardly group. Puck at one point said, “If some parent is burning your book in the privacy of their home; BFD. If they are burning your books in public, then you have a problem.”
I might be interviewing the alleged ‘book burning’ parent on the matter. Will she call me tomorrow?
Let’s just wait and see…
The year is coming to a close with some new fun headed our way in 2006. Band nights will still be upon us. December 31st marks the final band night of 2005 with Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers performing "Let's Score a Goal" and "Condors Fight Song" from Growing Up Fighting: Bakersfield Hockey Vol. One. Don't forget discount tickets online at nlbelardes.com... (You can find the link here) Of course the Bakersfield Condors are still undefeated on band nights. I believe 5-0 is the last count? The rest of the season for the Condors is a bit shaky. You can read how the Vegas Wrangler fan and I are in some serious trash talk over this season's minor league hockey in the ECHL. Didn't help that the Condors were crushed last night. Oh yes, it gets ugly on 'Bobblehead on Condors'. Don't forget to check out today's pics of Foreman Elf. Oh yeah...
I have also been talking robots on my Portable Protocol industrial automation blog. My latest entry discusses wireless security as future hackers might just take over your robot servants... My latest novel tackles such issues in a homor-filled way. Yes, a comedy-drama. Gotta dig it.
And don't forget the year in review. I will soon be naming the band of the year on nlbelardes.com, right here in my blog, Paperback Writer...
Oh yes he does. Just ask him. Oh don’t worry, it’s OK. I don’t mind spending five bucks here and there, especially on a good friendship. You might be asking, “Did Monty Byrom’s friendship really cost that much?”
That and some change. Read on…
Last week I received a cryptic message in my email inbox that for the most part said: “Monty Byrom wants to meet you.”
“Oh sure. I can do that,” I responded. But why? Why did Monty want to meet me? Did he use up his allotted lunch dates with Bakersfield Bob? Or was it that Bakersfield Bob would meet with him but never attend shows? Now that’s strange. Why would you interview someone, or eat lunch with them, write about your meeting, then never attend a show?
Why would you accept a book from someone, meet them in a lobby to receive the book, and then tell that person you would never review that book or write about it?
Very strange. Entertain your thoughts on that one…
Back to Byrom.
I wandered down to Jags coffeehouse last week and saw Monty hanging out, lurking about, checking out some of the crafts in the quaint old coffeehouse. I walked up and right away he knew it was me and vice versa. Here was the man from the big-time blues band, Big House; writer of glam rock’s heyday; Billy Satellite frontman from the early days of MTV; Eddie Money’s producer/writer; the blues gent who rubbed noses with everyone from the Grateful Dead, Grace Slick, Barbara Streisand, and untold list of songwriters and producers who worked with Elton John, Joe Cocker, James Brown, and more. The list is too long.
Monty is a tall guy. Must have been intimidating back in the early MTV days looking down from tall stages into the roaring 80s crowds. He picked up a gift and ordered coffees.
“We don’t take credit cards,” the lady behind the register said.
Monty came up short. Lucky, I had five bucks in my pocket.
“Oh you’re going to have fun with this one,” he said.
“Hey, I’d rather you owe me,” I chuckled handing over the cash.
Soon enough we were outside sitting in the warm afternoon heat. Christmas just around the corner, a heat streak had landed on Bakersfield.
“So what are you promoting,” I asked straight up. “You have a CD coming out? What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to meet you,” he said. “I’ve been reading your site. I like how you say the things people won’t say or wish they’d said.”
Nice cover-up. Monty Byrom is wrapping up a new CD. But Monty’s an ‘old school’ networking genius. He simply makes friends. There’s nothing sophisticated about such a tactic. It’s an honest approach. Why not? If you’re a real friend, then you’re in a friendship to make friends, and so you say you want “Nothing more.” That’s because, if people believe in you, they naturally help. I believe in that. If you have someone who says they are a friend but who wouldn’t give you the shirt off their back just as you would… Well, where is that friendship?
Show people your real side. People like Monty have dealt with so many shady characters in their career they can surely see through falsities. They can play the game, but they’re sick of the game…
Show people you want to help. That you’re honest. And that you’re a fighter for what’s right. And don’t blog about the famous just because you want people to see who you had lunch with.
Forget the politics regarding artist’s visions that might make YOU famous. Forget all that.
I’m with Monty. This guy gave me the biggest realization of the music and art scene I have ever heard. And he said it straight up and painted a vision like I was watching a movie. Our conversation was honest, trustworthy, revealing, and showed a commitment between artists on a simple level that only required coffee, a table and head nods in agreement. An agreement on what? That the big world of money-making and publishing is too revolved around the prestige of a few whose music awards take away from the hard workers of the global scene: folks who never see royalties from global sales…
Monty’s stories are what makes movies good: they’re rough-and-tumble survival, filled with conflict and narrative story-telling of a revealing nature; his stories climb to a glorious level, then fall destructively to the depths of an artist’s bare soul... “I stood there with all the big MCA people. The head of distribution, the head of radio, the head of marketing, all in a big room. I had my speech scripted before I looked into their eyes and said, ‘Isn’t it your goal to sell records?’ And that’s when I learned that it’s not the goal of the companies to sell records. It’s their goal to win awards, to win prestige… the day I received word I had a number one hit I said over the phone, ‘I need money to get to the next town. I can’t make it. I’ve got an empty tank.’ Where was all the money? We were selling 5000 albums a week. Wasn't that enough?”
Monty’s records for Big House outsold every other artist in Nashville at the time. But Big House got little airplay. That’s why he was in the meeting with the big boys; to find the truth.
“Big House was never meant to be a band. Those were just guys I played with for years who I jammed with. It grew from there… In Nashville, when we got our break at the Blue Bird Café it was just by luck. We were never a country band. We were a blues band. We were booked at the Blue Bird in Nashville at the last minute and they said, ‘We don’t allow drums’.”
And that’s no lie. Check out this text right from the Blue Bird Café site:
The Bluebird Cafe has gained a reputation worldwide for presenting the best original country and acoustic music seven nights a week. Performers do not generally play "cover" songs. Musicians do not jam here, and songwriters frequently are accompanied by just one guitar or piano.
As a listening room, quiet is requested at all times during a performance - which is why our slogan has become "Shhh!" You are welcome to drink and eat with us at any time, but if you are looking for an evening of conversation there are more appropriate places in Nashville. Between the sets you will undoubtedly have plenty to talk about!
New writers who have passed our audition process can be heard every Sunday night - it's a great opportunity to hear from tomorrow's hitmakers. Writers night on Sunday is free and we have a special guest hit songwriter as the finale every Sunday.
“How could we play without drums? We talked them into it but had to pad them. Turned into one of our biggest shows ever. Eleven record companies approached us after the show. The offers were enormous. How could we refuse? They pulled cards out of their coat pockets and spoke out of the sides of their mouth: 'Hey I'm so-and-so from such-and-such records...' MCA and Sony were there…”
You don’t refuse numbers like the numbers Monty whispered. Those are the numbers Bakersfield bands dream of, LA bands dream of, San Francisco and Seattle bands dream of…
But then MCA pulled the rug out. I didn’t ask why. It is important to know that’s what happens in the industry. The rug eventually comes out from under you.
Monty Byrom walked the streets of the music industry three times. Three times.
Not many famous performers have had so many chances. I was just a snotty-nosed youth watching people like Byrom in Billy Satellite on MTV. That was my generation; the generation that watched music unfold through unstoppable television during a non-war era. We were the voyeurs of the post-modern music television age. No, Elvis and the Beatles didn’t count. They weren’t on 24-hour music channels. But, Byrom was.
“Hey Monty,” I said. “Ever wonder why I never came to one of your shows?”
“You came to a show. You came to one, I think.”
“Nope. Never attended.”
“Then, yes, I wonder why you never came to a show.”
Because I thought someone like you would never give me the time of day. What would you want to do with a little home grown music and art blog and an unknown novelist?”
And here was Monty just making friends.
I snapped some pictures. “Your publicist says I need to take good pictures.” I said. “I told her I need to write a blog with the ten ugliest photos never used on nlbelardes.com.”
No, not one of us is getting any younger, Monty. Not a one of us.
Lords: Part One has just got more controversial than ever before. I just received word that two Bakersfield High School students had their copies of Lords: Part One burned by angry parents. One reliable source reports one student was demanded to hand over a copy of the book and was then told, “This book is evil. It isn’t what God created.” That book and a friend's copy was then confiscated and burned.
The book in question...
I haven’t heard literary news of this sort since researching controversies regarding books by John Steinbeck and Toni Morrison in Kern County.
John Steinbeck's book, The Grapes of Wrath was literally banned from Bakersfield bookshelves in the late 1930s. Elise Palos wrote in 1994:
Kern County supervisor Stanley Abel defended the board by saying on August 28, 1939, "The book was banned because of the filth that is in it.”
True, there were "dirty words" throughout the book, as most people would call them today but the characters in this novel were not exactly the most refined and educated. Besides, didn't the board's resolution banning the book state that it misrepresented conditions in the county? Which one was the true, motivating reason? Read more…
More recently, Toni Morrison’s book The Bluest Eye was nearly banned at East Bakersfield High in both 2004 and 2005. Her novel was challenged, yet retained at the Kern High School District in Bakersfield despite complaints of her novel’s sexually explicit content:
“If the kids are not allowed to use profanity,” said parent Pam Helms, “Then why is it ok for them to read it?”
More fuel is being tossed into the fire, over a reading assignment for an English class at East Bakersfield High School.
Parents are demanding a controversial book be banned from the classroom, and some members of the community agree with them.
At Monday night's meeting of the Kern High School District, many parents spoke out against the book entitled “The Bluest Eye,” with reaction crossing racial lines.
Read more… (check out a list of banned books)
The BHS students whose books were burned obtained their copies from a LAN party giveaway through kerngamers.com held last Saturday. Lords: Part One had already been mentioned in the radio and in newspapers, including the Bakersfield High Newspaper, The Blue & White. Giving away the novel was not thought to be an issue.
Apparently the book burning parents don’t understand the news stories and the urban myths of the Lords of Bakersfield. Why didn’t they research the story instead of burning the kids' copies as Devil books? I recently wrote in defense of Lords: Part One to a colleague,
Lords: Part One is about creepy old politicians, a newspaper publisher and lawmen who lived hidden gay lives and illegally preyed on and possibly murdered kids. On one level, the story is meant to raise awareness that parents should be careful about where there kids go. Lords is not a ‘gay’ novel or porn although it does graphically depict the despicable nature of the villains of the story. Lords is not unlike most PG-13 and R rated films, which are graphic in nature.
A few weeks ago I was surprised that the Bakersfield High School paper could allow graphic verbage regarding Lords: Part One without getting some heat from disgruntled parents. I haven’t heard any negative news. I admit, my eyebrows raised when I read in the Blue & White:
Minstrel chooses, however, to act upon greed and uses his aesthetic appeal in homosexual prostitution, by violating the most fundamental, sacred social tenets when he surrenders his soul to lusty, middle-aged men. (the online version was edited by the BHS reporter)
Such controversy! N.L. Belardes books cooked up in a Devil-hating storm of Christian-minded conservatism turned fiery. Will this lead to a rash of local book burnings? Stay tuned...
AUDITIONS FOR George M Cohan’s, The Tavern
Directed By Kevin Lively
Production Dates: February 17, 18, 24, 25, 26 March 3, 4, 5
BAKERSFIELD COMMUNITY THEATRE
THE STORY:
One of the most famous of Cohan’s plays happens in a lonely tavern on a wild stormy night where a mysterious vagabond, a woman and the State Governor and his family who have been held up a short distance away, gather. Several persons are suspected of the crime and the mysterious vagabond takes infinite delight in observing developments as they take place about him.
.
CHARACTERS:
The Vagabond: A very mysterious character. Little is known about him, only that he views the world as a play and he is the audience. (Male Ageless)
Zach: The Tavern Keeper’s son. A young obedient romantic with a forbidden love for the hired girl. (Male Teen-Early 20s)
Sally: The hired girl. Young and beautiful. However, not the smartest character ever created.
Freeman: The Tavern Keeper. Father of Zach. A responsible businessman trying to keep order amongst all the chaos. (Male 30-50)
Willum: The hired man. A crazy man who is in love with Sally, a girl who does not love him back. (Male Ageless)
Violet: An escaped mental patient on her way to the capitol to kill the governor. (Female Ageless).
Governor Lamson: Governor of the state, husband to Mrs. Lamson, father to Virginia. (Male 40+).
Mrs. Lamson: Wife of the governor, mother of Virginia. (Female 40+)
Virginia: Daughter of Governor and Mrs. Lamson. Beautiful and flirtatious. Engaged to Tom Allen. (Female late teens – late 20s)
Tom Allen: Fiancé of Virgina. Good looking playboy son of a millionaire. ( Male Early 20s- Early 30s)
The Sheriff: The law. Classic big and scary cowboy. (Male Ageless)
The Sheriff’s Men: (Male or Female Ageless)
Stevens: Man from the mental institution. Small part but VERY important to the play. **NOTE: The Play is a spoof of old westerns and melodramas. Over the top characters are a must. **
Auditions on Saturday (January 7) 2-5pm & Sunday (January 8) 6-9pm
For more information e-mail us at
thetavernbct@yahoo.com
Now that the Bakersfield Californian is sort of on entertainment hiatus, I think I can proudly say that the Bakersfield Underground Music Scene, Bakotopia and nlbelardes.com are neck and neck and neck as the new leaders in what's going on in Bakersfield entertainment.
I used to think Bakersfield Bob had the edge on WOTS new in Bakersfield entertainment, especially those Hollywoodsters and big lala actors, stand-up comedians, and super jiffy big wiggy bands who come to town to flaunt their paparazzi pals and diamond hair. No Kenny Mount, not you. You're still one of the little guys like me.
Once again, welcome to the new media. It's grassroots. It's blogging on the streets. It's talking about what we want to talk about (not that big paper with its long approval process). We're talking instant stories. Just add water and poof! We're talking entertainment in theatre, art, music, and literature... and more!
Thank you Mike Generic, Spud-Munoz, Matildakay.com, and the rest of you bloggers out there making a difference. Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas to that Grinch, Heath Dobbler...
Just kidding.
Heath, you know I love you man...
I’ve stated such over the radio as well as to friends, and if I haven’t stated such in a blog, I will right here: some of my research for Lords: Part One was done over at the Beale Library where, at the time, a lone copy of the book, Valley Fire was held under lock and key. Talk about Fort Knox.
Since then, the book Valley Fire (a collection of court documents all now missing from Bakersfield court records except for in the book) has gone into a second edition. I have yet to read the latest version.
A synopsis on russosbooks.com reads:
With the 2003 Bakersfield Californian investigative report entitled "The Lords of Bakersfield", author Bette Blair decided to reprint her 1990 book Valley Fire. The book was written after the death of her son, who had been "executed by the time he was nineteen because he knew too much". Blair continues, "if you molest then murder one of my children... I will stand up to you... that is why the Kern County District Attorney's office has desperately attempted to turn one child-molesting, drug-dealing, money-laundering operation into eight separate witch-hunts, I have tenaciously insisted their own pattern proves otherwise." As Blair presents her case, the local debate wages on...
I admit, the first edition is a rough read. I sat in the Beale library and took meticulous notes while being stared at by a librarian who probably thought I was going to shove the book in my pocket and make an escape. Yes, the librarian stared at me the entire time.
You might wonder how I came across the knowledge that such a book existed.
After Robert Price wrote his conspiratorial articles in 2003, I wrote and asked him where I could find more information on the subject. I knew of certain stories, had contacts who talked to me about the Lords, but this book held a matter of intrigue for me and my research. Price wrote back, “Go find the book, Valley Fire.”
And so I did.
The book is made up of court documents about some rather scary Kern conspiracies. Check it out if you dare. You’ll find it at Russo’s.
Over the weekend I received an interesting call from a few states away. It was Bette Blair. She was hot on the trail of N.L. Belardes.
“I want to get a copy of your book,” she said. "I was in Bakersfield doing a book signing about a week before your book came out." I was overjoyed. I never expected to hear from her. I proceeded to tell her all about why I used her book and how I had spoke on the radio about her work as being part of the hub of my research…
Here was a woman, so tied to the Lords of Bakersfield that she was the administrative assistant to Ted Fritts for more than three years. The Lords, she believes, executed her son, blacklisted her, and ran her out of Bakersfield. Blair fought back by writing her non-fiction book, Valley Fire.
“Robert Price only gave me a little mention in his column. But he used my book in his research. He had to since he told me all the court documents on the matter were missing… Thanks to Mike Russo, the second edition of Valley Fire is easier to read. I edited the new edition in a way that now it is based on court documents rather than just being the court documents themselves.”
Bette Blair, however, isn’t stopping with Valley Fire.
“I’m writing another book. I sent the Californian a chapter and didn’t hear back.”
I’m not surprised. I gave them two books, one to Bakersfield Bob, and another to Robert Price and all I got was: “I haven’t read it yet,” and, “N.L. is a wild-eyed conspiracy theorist.” Such comments are better than nothing. And I do like Robert Price’s fun and feisty attitude. You have to admire him for putting up with my teasing. I admit I am the person who calls him Stubble the Lords Hunter and a conspiracy theorist (read about my literary take on the Lords and why new perspectives on Lords history will need re-writes through the years).
I told Bette I wasn’t surprised, that the Californian has objectives and wants folks to be hush-hush about certain topics as if they’re the big bad mafia not wanting folks to talk about Johnny da Weasel and his secret underground operation. You have to blame the Californian though. They spawned Ted Fritts; they spawned the 2003 Lords of Bakersfield articles; they spawned Bette Balir’s anger and vengeance; they sparked my interest in writing a novel, and I’m sure they will spawn more interest on the topic. And I am positive they will write about the Lords of Bakersfield again, but only when they feel the time is right to suit their aims, whatever those aims may be.
In the meantime, Bette will keep writing, and me too; I’m writing about robots… nice robots… not the terminator Lords of Bakersfield kind who pluck out eyeballs and murder kids and dupe the people into buying papers like they’re lollipops of information…
Will it be American Standard? Throatshot? The Filthies? Karmahitlist? Norfolk? Fatt Katt and the Vonzippers? The Dalloways? Norfolk? The Pine? WHO?????????
Who will be the performance of the year?
The best CD of the year?
Stay tuned...
The year in review I expose some dirty local secrets. Will it be yours?
One month and 4 days since the disappearance of Bakersfield bob from her blog.
Definitely the best review I have read of Lords: Part One. Check out the writing style of Bakersfield High School news co-editor, Tara Alire... she is an incredible young writer. Tip your hat to her style and wit...
Bakersfield Blue & White: Issue 3, Vol. 92, Dec. 2, 2005
"N.L. Belardes reveals Bakersfield's 'Dirty Little Secrets' in new novel"
by Tara Alire
Welcome to Hollywood's backyard, where a mysterious, looming cloud shields a conservative community filled to the brim with the delights of wonderful toy stores and the comforts of small-town suburbia from the outpouring British punk movement slowly gaining momentum in the gritty streets of Los Angeles. A town stocked with the ever-prized prowess of farmers frozen in an agrarian society, and sheltered from the lusts, sins and passions that drive the bustling city across the hill—as many passersby would often note mistakenly.
Instead, the dwellers live in quiet desperation, hanging on every word published in the locally-owned newspaper after a ravaging dust storm leaves the town resembling a "mutilated corpse" lying tragically at the valley bed. The town does not stir from its grave, but rather it surrenders itself to mass hysteria driven by fears of apocalypse and nuclear war.
Welcome to Bakersfield, California, a growing town haunted by an exclusive inner circle of the Bakersfield elite—the budding business owners, conservative politicians and the ancient college professors and police chiefs—known simply as the Lords.
At least the city envisioned by local Chicano author, N.L. Belardes, in Lords: Part One, his breakthrough novel that hit store shelves in December. Based on local legend, Lords is a crowning testimony for the exploited, innocent and simultaneously exalted lives slain by the local Lords.
In what may become his magnum opus, Lords is a cleverly satirical account of how the local media exploit public desperation through a carefully concocted imbalance between what is marketable and factually tangible. Simon Sundale, the owner of the local Tule Reader in the novel, admits he controls the masses through the local media. "I like to paint the picture ... that America's out of control, that people are out of control. My audience eats it up." Throughout the novel the mystical tule shrouds truth, but Belardes employs it as yet another powerful metaphor, an omnipresence of aristocratic control over what Bakersfield loves, hates and fears, and ultimately what Bakersfield holds to its moral canon.
Minstrel, the protagonist, leads into a descending spiral down the path to the Lords, the group of men who thrive on homosexual relations with boys in the Beach Park restroom and the sinister Oleander mansion. Minstrel's aesthetic, ethereal appearance contrasts from the decay that surrounds him; indeed, this was his allure to the Lords. Minstrel chooses, however, to act upon greed and capitalizes on his aesthetic appeal through prostitution, robbing himself of his boyhood innocence by violating the most fundamental, sacred social tenets when he surrenders his soul to lusty, middle-aged men.
Setting this novel apart amidst its contemporaries, Belardes seems to reject the understated style of modern literature and offers instead an alternative to novels written with a wearisome abundance of artistic license, whatever that is. Naturally, to exercise some artistic license is acceptable and should, in theory, further enhance the readers' experience as a supplement to the splendor of language fundaments. But American society has slaughtered the English language, most notably in such tragic attempts as The Lovely Bones and still sold millions.
To my utter delight, Belardes writes with such eloquence uncommonly seen in today's bookstores. He possesses the intellectual capacity to chip away at the shameful pillars these contemporary authors have stuck so ostensibly upon this generation's hill of enlightenment, and he does so with full force, replacing them with noble symbols of social progression. When read aloud the novel flows like a stream, which is quite a feat amid the disintegration of structure and form once idealized by the likes of Aristotle and Cicero. It seems he has drawn inspiration from the 19th-century aestheticians, akin to Oscar Wilde's classic The Picture of Dorian Gray. Nonetheless Belardes understands the importance of literary devices and the overall flow of the story, without which this novel would flounder in today's seemingly eternal stream of reality shows and teenage angst novels.
Without a doubt, Belardes has in his hands one of the last remnants of literary classicism, a wonderful satire of the decadence of the coveted, antiquated elements of society. Beneath the dense fog that shrouds the town, Belardes espouses, lies a rotten core of machination that has poisoned every Southern Valley seed from within through the wretched media—even more relevant considering the devastation wrought by Hurricane Katrina and the Iraqi war. Lords: Part One is a masterful, captivating rendition of small-town corruption and remains a stronghold of what substance Bakersfield has to offer.
Oh yes, everything you wanted to know about the Bakersfield scene in 2005... it's going to be a doozy. You'll read about music, art, theatre, books, the local newspaper and more in my final big opinionated piece for the year...
Stay tuned.
You'll want to read this one...
Game programmer needed for Quadrant S space game...
Check out the post from Kern Gamers:
A few of us from KernGamers started work on a game project a few weeks back but it never really got anywhere do to our programmer not really having time to commit to the project.
I would hate to see this project die so I am putting out a call out to any programmers that would be interested in working on a game in their spare time. The game is a FPSS/RTS (First Person Space Shooter / Real Time Strategy). We are using the Torque game engine which I believe is a form of C but I don’t really know since I’m a 3D guy. As for skill level we don’t care, if it is something you are just learning great or if you are a programming guru even better.
The point of the project is really to just to make a game of our own. I know a few people would like to use it for either demo reel or resume material and if you are looking to get into the game industry this might be a great opportunity to expand you personal portfolio.
If you are interested or have any questions please contact me for more information.
(send email to nl@nlbelardes.com or post on kerngamers.com if interested)
I had been dodging phone calls from a rock star.
Maybe it was just because I had never had a rock star call my phone before and leave a message…
I know, I know, Kenny Mount and whole lot of Bakersfield rock stars are pissed right now saying, “I call that bastard, Belardes all the time. And now he’s saying I’m not a rock star??”
Oh cut it out. You know what I mean.
Anyway, one of the messages said, “Oh man, Mr. Belardes, I’m mad at you…”
Oh man. What’s this? I pissed off a rock star? What was going to happen now? Would he side with Bakersfield Bob, the former Dim drummer and his cronies, and that dastardly Nate Berg and suddenly… hate me??
Just what did I do? I finally got the nerve to call him back. Busy signal. I tried again the next day. Voice mail. Then finally I got through. His first words? “Man I am pissed at you…”
Did I write a crummy article? He didn’t like something I wrote. Uh oh. “Oh man, what?” I said.
“I am so pissed! I just finished part one. Where is part two!?!”
Thank God, that was followed by laughter. Apparently, Marky Chavez of Midnight Panic (formerly of Adema) had received Lords: Part One for his birthday. And he loved it. He called to say how much he enjoyed the novel and how much he wanted the sequel.
“I read a lot of Clancy type novels. But I got tired of all the details in the latest book I was reading so I started yours. I read over a hundred pages in one night! I finished Lords: Part One the next day!”
Wow, those despicable Lords of Bakersfield and my creepy book about them entertained a rock star... I can’t ask for more than that. Marky then invited me out to the ranch where I showed up to make sure he was comfortable with the fact that I would write a part two.
I arrived with Matildakay and knocked on the door. There’s no peephole and so I heard Jean-a Beans inside, inquiring, “Who is it?” She's the cool-as-hell wife of Wayne from Thru The Roof Records.
Last time I was at the ranch I stupidly left before eating her chicken. It looked that good...
I made a half-mumbled declaration and the door opened. I saw Jean-a with her big dog, Bear and she led me and Matildakay (she wasn’t feeling well) out to a patio where Jean-a brought some Chamomile tea to warm us up. Poor Matildakay didn’t look like she felt well the entire night.
Marky was in a break between sets. He had already torn through twelve songs and needed to rest his voice. Peter Shubert wandered over and we talked some Oleander ghost stories about the haunted house next door to him while Marky talked about Lords: Part One…
Yes, it’s a creepy book about Bakersfield, and if it kept a rock star up late, then how could he not talk about it? I was flattered and he was creeped out. He wanted to know more: “How much of it is real?” he asked.
I get asked that question all the time. I told someone once, 80%. I told Mark, “There’s a lot of creative energy in the book. I creatively connect the dots of real events.” I'm not sure I answered his question... didn't matter, he still loved the book and the descriptions.
Soon we went to the studio. We had two chairs, Matildakay got earplugs. I said hi to Mike Montano and Matt Low and suddenly they went off into their set… Marky was wearing a beany hat, black pants and jumped around, spun, and grooved to the passion of his music. The artist was in his moment. He had already been through his coronation at Studio 99. He had been practicing these songs for months. The energy was there. These guys were ready to rock in front of people, and I don’t mean me. They were ready to perform for their fans. Give them the Pond. They would be ready.
About four or five songs into the set something blew. Maybe a fuse? I wasn’t sure, but a lot of power was lost, including Matt’s fan and Marky’s microphone caved in like a vampire had just sucked the energy out of it.
That only meant a few minutes of downtime and they were right back into their music.
I wanted the entire CD right then to take home and spin. No luck. Sure the band is going to perform at Montgomery World Plaza on December 22nd. But I wanted the music now. Right now to take home. That’s what I get for not having Lords: Part Two up my sleeve at the Ranch that night for Marky Chavez. “I will come to your house, plant myself in front of your computer if it means I can read your book! I need it!”
Don’t worry, the book will be finished in no time. In the meantime I hope Marky likes all the other books I have to offer.
I still want a CD though.
And another cup of Chamomile tea...
*Images coming soon
I was about to be picked on. Oh yes, attacked even by shock jocks. All in good fun, yet much more severe than my little Bakersfield Bob statements. These guys were going to talk about real issues: wearing your ethnicity on your sleeve. Had I been?
It was one of those strange phone calls in the middle of the day. I thought I was talking to Puck and it was Preston. “I’ll call you right back,” I said. I didn’t know I was on the air. Earlier Puck had written in an email after I asked about being on The Puck Show, “Let me talk to Preston and see what we got going on next week, and let's get something done.”
“Hey, it’s Preston.” It was Preston Nash. I thought Puck was calling to invite me to a poker game during a break on his show.
I called back a few minutes later and was put on hold. I heard Preston and Puck arguing about Preston being a quarter Native American. “I’m twenty-five percent,” Preston declared.
“Hell no, you’re not,” Puck argued.
“I am. I can prove it.”
“You can not.”
I sat listening to Preston and Puck argue when suddenly one of them said, “Let’s talk to the Latino author. I don’t know why he’s suddenly the Latino author, so let’s ask him what this is all about. N.L. Belardes, welcome to the show.”
“Hey guys. I don’t know what Preston is talking about. He’s not twenty-five percent Native American. He’s more like a wooden nickel percent Native American.”
There was a lot of laughter followed by Puck asking what the deal was about me writing in a newsletter I sent out early in the morning, I just wanted to tell you that folks in Bakersfield are proud of me as a local Latino writer…
So what was the big deal? I explained that in my online bio I talk about being a Chicano writer. I’m not just declaring I’m a Latino writer to sell books. I actually discuss Latino issues in my next book just as I have in other pieces that I have written (read one for Mas Magazine on the crisis of ethnic dualism in Latino California). I’m proud that as a literary writer I can speak for Latinos everywhere in a city where there are many Latino writers, yet there aren’t many who are authors. The conversation quickly changed, however.
We talked about the Californian and their lack of being as progressive as they once stated to me and how they said they could take criticism. We talked about professors and especially creative writing professors who haven’t contacted me. “Program managers are the same way,” Puck laughed. Many are washed up DJs who couldn’t make it, so they become program managers. We then talked about the Hockey CD. Preston gave me a hard time:
“So, Nick, when is the CD coming out…”
“Soon, but after Christmas. Working with bands, well, Puck knows how that is…”
Puck jumped in and asked, “You wrote the song, Zamboni Zombie where Condors sang on the song, and Fatt Katt had a few Condors on as well. If any of the Condors were to, let’s say, take the next step in their career and try to make it in their career, which one do you think would have the best shot?”
“None of them,” I laughed.
It was all in good fun.
And then Puck and Preston suddenly heard, “Dad I’m going to go get my shot!”
It was my kid wanting to shock the shock jocks. “What the hell was that?” Puck laughed.
“That was my kid.” It was the kid from Dirty Spanglish, the kid brave enough to write a hockey song about officials called “Zebras”.
“That’s not something you declare on the radio. What’s he going to get some kind of Prozac shot or something?”
“He’s going to get his distemper shot,” I giggled.
Ahh, such fun on the radio.
Thanks again to The Puck Show for having me on. Puck told me he’s on his second reading of Lords: Part One. I’m digging that. I just hope it doesn’t end up as a coffee coaster in his house, or a tray for his cigarette butts.
But then, that would be Puck to make good use of a well-worn book.
*One side note: I didn't know I was going to be on the radio but I guess Gus of the Filthies did. Not only did he listen in, he sent me a text message while on the air that read, "Nick, I'm going to go get my shots..."
In a big twist of events, Ska-king Matt Munoz has taken over the supreme leader chair at Bakotopia. Wow!
Will Cesareo celebrate with the four traditional ska dances while Matt boogies in his big socks?
Official letter from Spud:
Hey everyone! It's SPUD, and I have an important, earth-shaking announcement to make about Bakotopia.com -- so brace yourself!
Almost a year ago, I started this site on a whim. I thought it would be cool to give people in Bako a place to post things for sale or trade, help people find jobs, find used guitars and that kind of thing. So we put up a site and posted some flyers, and you all showed up. Then we added some user profiles, resuscitated Bakersfieldbands.com and brought it into the fold, let bands upload MP3s and all that jazz.
The response to all of this has been bigger than we ever anticipated, which has created a lot of work. I needed some help fast! So I'm really happy and excited to introduce the new face of Bakotopia: MATT MUNOZ! You can check out his profile and welcome him here: http://bakotopia.com/users/matt.
Many of your probably know Matt as the lead singer of Mento Buru, a local band that's close to 20 years old. Matt's been a long-time voice for the local music scene, and recently helped organize a benefit concert at the Dome for Hurricane Katrina victims. I can't think of a better person to carry the torch for Bakotopia and take it in all kinds of exciting new directions.
So what happens to SPUD? I'm not going away, but I will be more of a behind-the-scenes guy. Just think of me as another member of this cool, hip community we've created together. That's all I ever wanted out of this, and now it's time to let someone who really knows what he's doing run the show.
On a side note, it's very gratifying to see Bakotopia get to a level where we'd feel comfortable asking a rock star to run it, and more importantly that such a person would say yes. :-) When geek and chic come together, great things result.
The next newsletter will come from Matt. In the meantime, you can still reach me at spud@bakotopia.com.
Rock on!
Regards,
SPUD
Matt's official "I like you" letter:
Greetings Bakotopians, allow me to introduce myself…
My name is Matt, and I’ll be taking over Spud’s duties here at Bakotopia.
I know some of you may be saddened to hear of Spud’s departure, but rest assured he will be working closely as a sort of “spiritual guide.” He will be missed, but not forgotten. A moment of silence, please……
Enough about Spud, he always did hog up the spotlight. Let’s talk about the big news, shall we?
There are a lot of cool plans brewing here at Bakotopia, but before we move forward, let me give you a little background on myself…
I was born and raised smack dab in the middle ofKernCounty , and have been actively involved in the Bakersfield community for years both as a student of music and journalism at BC and CSUB, and as bandleader for local latin ska dudes, Mento Buru. Preaching the word of good music and fun times is my specialty, and I’ll do my best to spread the news to you, my fellow Bakotopians!
Remember, Bakotopia is all about its members, so don’t stress. I’m not planning on turning this into a site about me and my faves. I want to help build our online community into something Bakersfield ’s never seen.
Yeah, yeah…You’ve heard it before, but forget about the past. We’re talking BIG THINGS at Bakotopia, baby: Music podcasts with local bands, up-to-date reports on fun things happening all over town, lots of pictures from events, contests, giveaways! Can you feel my excitement? You should…2005 was a great year for our little site and it’s only getting better in 2006!
I appreciate any feedback about Bakotopia. Tell me what you like, dislike, want to see in the future, or your unconditional love. Don’t be shy, drop me a line. I’m here for you anytime at: matt@bakotopia.com!
So, forget that other SPACE, tell your friends to jump aboard where the real action is!
Now, let’s have some fun!
**One more important note:
Our sending address is changing to bakotopia@bakotopia.com, so please add us to your address books!
Thanks / Gracias!
See Ya Online,
Matt
As part of my interest in science fiction... a lot of folks don't know I have an interest in the genre, I decided to work on a new novel. I have actually written two books that aren't published and hardly anyone has read that have robots in them. This will be my third novel to touch on the subject of robotics. Working in the automation industry I tend to also read a lot about robots and nanotechnology. You can go online and read to your hearts content and even get a free education through open courseware at MIT and watch pre-recorded lectures on specific courses the school offers. I just try to keep abreast of the latest gadgets and technical advancements in the realm. I dabble on MIT when I can.
Anyway, I started a new novel that I'm going to use to experiment with as an online book that you would pay just a few bucks to be able to download a PDF version and read at your leisure. I was wondering if folks would perfer to pay by chapter or to pay a lump sum for the entire short book.
Just an experiment I wanted to lurk into new ways of offering reading material.
You may not know but I actually write two tech blogs. ProSoft Technology Talks Industrial Automation and Portable Protocols.
I'm currently reading a book on the automation industry titled Pinto's Points that partially deals with the futurist thoughts of retired business owner Jim Pinto. This guy digs robotics and nanotechnology, is a strange poet of sorts, and, well, I can so understand that...
I will keep you posted on new developments...
In the meantime, please help out and buy a copy of Lords online today from Noveltown... or go locally in Bakersfield to Russos, Gigantic Vintage or Borders...
The Filthies hockey anthem "Condorstown" will be played on "The Coach's Show" on KGEO AM1230 Thursday night between 6-7 PM.
You gotta love the hockey CD. Its a comin' soon.
One of the funnest scenes to research and write for Lords: Part One was chapter 19, a scene not really about Kenny Mount dancing with a fashionista 1970s wig, but about the young boy, Joey Minstrel as he begins to transform into a luscious pawn of the evil Lords of Bakersfield.
In this scene we have a very innocent character in Carol Burbank, who isn't a Lord at all but a rather flamboyant bit of comic relief, yet someone who also adds to the lure of materialism and the party life that Minstrel skews in his own warped mind as he transforms from ideas of boyhood to manhood...
Oh yeah, don't forget to get a copy. It's almost Christmas...
19. “Just look at my hair. I look like a damn blue-haired Puerto Rican grandmother!” Carol Burbank said as she swept the floor of Ricky’s hair salon. On her head was a medium length bright blue wig with hair flipped up at the ends that bounced with each sweep. She also wore multi-colored flower print pants and blouse with a thick back belt in her attempt to look like one of the cast from the sitcom, Charlie’s Angels.
Carol was really a ‘he’ and had reverted to a transvestite life after a stint as a B-movie make-up artist living in West Hollywood. She had got her start in Bakersfield working in a salon next to a gay bar. Every now and then she would have Hollywood clientele who drove to Bakersfield for parties, spent the night, then needed a good salon the next day. Today she had Minstrel as one of her customers.
Carol had spent more than a year studying film and television make-up so knew all the latest trends. She talked a fast talk with her clients until she got a big breakthrough with a producer who knew of a make-up artist group looking to tutor some new blood in their rather odd circle of make-up artists, set designers, extras and movie-goers.
In between movies, Carol came back to Bakersfield and worked the few off-season months in Ricky’s salon. She always brought her latest ‘new’ look, her latest wigs, her latest movie lingo and hair designs. If it weren’t for the storm she would have been cutting hair, teaching make-up artistry, and weaving her fast-talking style into the ears of her hair-cutting fans—the few locals who adored her.
Carol tossed the broom in mock anger and stared into a wall mirror, “Do you know what this means? I’m never going to be fondled by the sisters. Ay! And I have such a high sex drive. I vroom vroom when they’re busy lighting their little cigarettes,” she said doing a little gyrating dance. She whirled and helped Minstrel into a salon chair, then turned back to the mirror. “But they won’t dare touch me now. Oh that smoke makes me hot though. I can do the little Puerto Rican dance too. Just like that one boy—oh he’s so fine—in Saturday Night Fever; you know the one. He is Puerto Rican, right? No? Italian? An Italian stallion Vinnie Barbarino making the big movies. He’s so hot with disco! Are you sure he’s not Puerto Rican? Did you see that movie? Best movie of the year except Tony Manero Barbarino needed a makeover when he got slapped by that pissy father of his.” She suddenly turned to Minstrel, walked up to him and stroked his head, rinsed, and then added shampoo. “I felt so sorry for Tony’s hair—mmm—hair, like the hair you have; you have to take special care with lots of vitamins. Lots of protein supplements. Now there’s a favorite nourishing product. You know what I mean—wink wink. Now don’t be hateful like I am about my blue hair. Ok, say something. Don’t be bitchy.”
“It’s lovely.”
“Oh now you’re adorable. But what do you know? What does a little boy know? Now look at you. You should grow your hair out and put on a nice foundation. A natural look is what you need. Add a pearlised liquid eyeshadow. Something light. Something, hmm. What’s your name again?”
“Joey.”
“Joey. I’m not sure if that’s a nice name. There are no r’s in it to roll off my tongue. Do I look Puerto Rican? C’mon, look close. Don’t be a bashful boy.”
“I don’t know what a Puerto Rican is. I know some Mexicans. But you don’t look too Mexican.”
“Oh Chicanos. That Chavez, he’s a Chicano. You know what he does around here? He’s like a medicine man. But I’m no Chicano. I don’t even think I used to be. Where is Ricky? Where is that Ricky? He’ll tell me the truth. Ricky!? Do I look Puerto Rican!?”
“He just dropped me off. He gave me a key in case you weren’t here. He said he didn’t think anyone would come in today, like yesterday. He said he would phone you in a little while. He wants to ask you something.”
“Oh that’s just like him to not come in to work. I have to deal with all these customers and cut hair and wash hair. I get tired. Do you know what that’s like? Washing a stranger’s hair who is not a star? Sometimes you like it—there’s a rhythm. But sometimes they’re so disgusting. Half of them anyway. The little old ladies who get sick when I touch their hair. They whisper that one name. You know the name. You can whisper it too. Well, that is until I tell them that I am just like everyone, only more truthful and honest than anyone else. So I tell them just what I think of their hair, and how glamorous they could be, because we’re all glamorous—did you know that, little boy? That we’re all glamorous? Ricky and I have done movie make-up. We have studied with the stars! So I tell them what it takes to be beautiful. They forget my ugliness after that and see that I am a darling girl after all. That’s why I whisper, because normally my voice is too deep. Everyone loves a darling don’t they?”
“You talk a lot.”
“And you don’t talk enough, honey. If we don’t talk then we have to listen to that dust blow. And that will drive me crazy for sure. It kept me up all night. You can’t see the bags under my eyes can you? I don’t think so. I took special care to hide them. Same way Farah Fawcett does. Now she has some bags that you could carry to the airport. If it weren’t for those magical make-up artists who get a hold of her before she goes onto the Charlie’s Angels set, she would be hateful. You’ve at least seen that show haven’t you?”
“I guess so. I’m not sure.”
“Oh goodness. Well sit down. Let me show you how I put on my eyeliner. A boy like you will grow up to be a great woman if you’re careful.”
“I don’t know. I’ll just watch.”
“Oh god, can you smell that dirt? It’s everywhere in here. I swept all morning. I can’t breath. I think my nasal cavity is too small anyway. I’ve got sand clogged in it. Do I sound nasally? The heyday for plastic noses can’t be too far away, can it? You go to the store, you find one you like and it’s a simple process, off with the old and on with the new. You put the old nose in the little bin with all the old ones and they get sent to some Third World country as all the new noses and it starts all over again. It’s nice to think someone could be wearing this nose and think it’s beautiful. Because let me tell you, it’s just wretched. I don’t know if I can live with a nose like this for much longer. And I don’t know if I can live with this storm. It’s never going to end. Come on now. Put this on. You’ll feel a little freer. Even at your age. Maybe you’ll be Vinny Barbarino Manero. And all the boys will love you. And then you can strut the way you deserve to strut.”
“Ok,” Minstrel said. He flinched even as Carol leaned in close. He flinched again as Carol began to apply eyeliner. For such an uptight woman, Minstrel was amazed at her steady hand.
“Here we go. See what mama can do for you. You will be a changed boy. Glamorous little boys have all the fun. Do you see them? The sparkles in your eyes? The stars. Like fireworks don’t you think? I can see them, each and every one. A lovely boy. There, perfect. Now for the eye shadow. You didn’t think you’d get to play dress up did you? What were you going to do, just hide in a corner the rest of your life?”
“Ricky said he has some things to do. And I don’t want to go live in the Boys’ Home. So he is hiding me for a few days.”
“Oh, such drama. Tell me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you not tell a stranger such secrets?”
“Ricky said you were his friend.”
“Ricky wouldn’t know his friends if one bit him on that nice behind of his. There, finished. Look at yourself will you? No, wait. Let’s put a glamorous shirt on you. Something with a nice collar. There are some in the back. Follow me. And pants. Do you know what I love about polyester pants on a nice boy? I love the fact that they’re so loose at the ankles and so tight in the crotch! Designers these days just know the human body and how to accentuate it. It’s a gift they all have. Well, maybe not all of them. There are some wretched designs. I do so love Oscar de la Renta though I’m more of a Givenchy. Put Nik-Niks and Huk-a-Poos on a slender boy any day of the week and we’re talking strawberry dessert! But for me a maxi-length vivid stretchnit nylon for going out. There’s nothing like having it up over your ankles! Oh darling let’s play dress-up!”
Minstrel walked out of the back of the hair salon onto the main floor looking like a star. His jeans and T-shirt were gone and in their place he wore a skintight polyester blue button-up shirt with a large collar, white polyester pants that were too long for his legs, and a thick black belt. On his feet were two shiny black shoes. His hair, freshly primped looked rather large and puffy against his head. He looked into the mirror. He could see the blue-haired make-up artist grinning hugely as Minstrel stared at his own beauty. He looked deep into the mirror, into his own eyes. For the first time his eyes almost looked too large to him. It was the eyeliner painted dark on his bottom lids. Eye shadow lit his lids brightly. He cracked a smile, leaned in and gazed at himself. He was a star.
“You see? A changed boy. We can fix those pants. It’s so easy to become what you are if you just try a little. Now you’re a firefly. You’ll buzz around in the darkness and everyone will see you. It’s going to give me a fit if you don’t show up to a party.”
Minstrel continued to gaze at himself. He gazed until he could see into the very seductive starry universe hidden behind his eyes. And he wanted to go there.
Just got this fun ANONYMOUS comment that was meant for the last post, "bakersfield bob whereabouts revealed... sorta...":
I really don't think that Ms. Belton's personal business has anything to do with you or your blog. Maybe it's time to get over your Jr. High grudge.
I loved this comment so much I thought it blog worthy. It has pizzazz.
So, Bakersfield Bob has fans who read my site? Are there closet Californian readers out there who sneak my site onto their desktop and then comment?
Just why would a Belton fan be on nlbelardes.com?
Hmmm...
The power of the blog speaks again. Word gets around.
By the way, if the average citizen's business is the business of the news, then the business of the news is the business of this blog... As for grudges: I only speak for what is fair, and Belton's lies were never fair. If I have a 7th grade grudge, that would make the Californian equal to what reading grade level...?
And if you don't like my blog, go read the bathroom stalls at the Californian (4th grade comment)
I wish I were as poetic as Heath Dobbler.
This just revealed by a source over email: Bakersfield Bob:
I have a source that revealed that Ms. Belton is on a personal
extended leave of absence.
mystery source
Rockfish, that Hendrix-style Christian rock band that everyone loves was kickin' it out at the stables for a rescue mission benefit.
I drove in through the muddy stables and at first was lost. I saw two cowboys about 7 years old pushing a wheelbarrow so I stopped the car by them as they carted manure along a group of rustic structures. "Hey cowboy. You know where the big event is today?"
"I'm not sure. Just keep driving around. Probably up ahead."
I thanked him and his counterpart and headed up through the muddy lane. Horses swished their tails and and old timer slung hay from a pitchfork. I asked him the same question. "Could be anywhere," he smiled.
Tearing through the mud I eventually found a lot of horses and a smug little building where rock music belted out through an open door. This was it. Those Rockfish guys were rocking the house to a bunch of horseriders who probably were in need of a little more twang. I snapped some pictures wondering just how Brent had landed this gig. Gotta try the Mexican churches, I was thinking. I used to know of some rockin' houses of God in the Bakersfield Latino hinterland.
These cowfolks clapped, but did they like the Hendrix-styled solos and hard rockin bluesy beat?
Maybe, but then Rockfish were the only ones in the house without cowboy hats on.
I did. I took a bunch of pics then wandered back outside and took a picture of some horses, a few cowboys, a dog and a wandering chicken.
A chicken!! A chicken!!
Yes, rockfish was jammin' at the stables, right there along the wayward Kern River, the winding waterway where a few hundred Westerns have been filmed...
I was sitting in a little room in the Rabobank arena, the Stanley Cup within my reach when my cell phone rang. I think I had just rubbed Wayne Gretzky’s name. On the phone was Steve Robles, unofficial manager for LA band World Wide Spies. They were going to be in town that very evening and we had talked about doing an episode of the Buck City Podcast.
“You’re sitting with the Stanley Cup?”
“It’s within my reach.”
“Well I can totally understand how important that is for you. We can do the podcast when World Wide Spies are back in town on December 30th if you like.”
I felt like I was about to touch the Cup of Christ in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Drink from it and the hockey gods would enter my bloodstream for sure. I’m sure Steve could sense the surreal moment. He gave a chuckle, we spoke some more and I promised to head out to Azuls to watch their show after the Condors got done whooping some tail in the arena. They did.
It was a cold night at Azuls, as freezing as the Bakersfield ice the Condors skated on earlier. Matildakay was in the house to hear World Wide Spies. I knew this would be a treat for her (she mentions World Wide Spies in this entry). When I arrived, Dante Esperanza was jamming out some tunes. Duncan McKnight knows how to belt out the cowboy hits, and was. I snapped a few photos of he and the band. I noticed they had a violin player—she sounded wonderful, providing a dynamic new sound for the band since Jordan from Johnny Clash had jumped in on episode 18 of Dante on Buck City. There was a tambourine player too. She looked melancholy in her aloneness at the side of the band and smoked a cigarette patiently as if she were just hanging out, waiting for a bus.
AJ from Gigantic Vintage/Soulsteppers works the sound...
I gave Nunez a hug. We kissed and made up since I accused him of walking out at the book release party. It was all for shits and giggles and Nunez thanked me for my help and we talked about how many folks had been listening to his podcast in episode 19, "Latinidad with Nunez". “Down in LA we played at UCLA and there were people there who had heard the podcast…”
When the band finished, Duncan came over and said hello. He was as polite as ever and I told him I enjoyed the music.
World Wide Spies all hung out in the corner of the outside patio where the band was playing. Steve Robles said a hearty greeting as did the rest of the band: JFK, JAX, IZIK and STEVO. If you haven’t heard them on Buck City, give a listen to their music and fun stories on episode ten. You can subscribe to the feed on iTunes…
Right away I noticed JFK wore a black derby and a large black leather coat. Here was the Londoner on the streets of Bakersfield and about to sing to the folks in Buck City some of his 80s revival power pop. I heard they had a few new songs up their sleeve although I expected to hear "Individual", one of my favorite World Wide Spies songs.
But then JFK had a few stories to tell while Dante Esperanza closed shop. He pointed to an eyebrow ring he was now sporting above his left eye. “As you can tell, I have a few new odds and ends and have just the tale for you.” (Or something to that effect. Going by memory here. You have to imagine a strong Londoner accent, sort of the kind you’d expect from a Hoodlum throwing rocks at the moron tourists who just stand there staring up at the blank face of Big Ben—“Hey, quit standin’ there lookin’ at that dumb clock ya bludy yank! Yuh git a face that looks jest as cracked!”).
“I noticed the derby. Nice touch, JFK.”
(I’m sure I’m way off, but I’m giving this a shot as I try to capture at least some of the essence and charm of JFK) “It’s good to look a little different now and then. Now let me tell you this story. There I was, and I’m not the kind of guy who goes and just gets these kinds of jobs done, but let me say I was at a show and this fella says he loves the music. And why not? It’s good music to like. Can’t blame him. And he offered to get a tattoo right then of World Wide Spies on his arm if I would go and get a piercing. Like I said, I’m not one for the sport, but who am I to deny such advertisements.”
“I never get offers like that for nlbelardes.com.”
“Perhaps your day’s coming, sir. But let me say I went down and had this done and now I’m no worse for the better and I certainly don’t have a tattoo to show for it.”
“But you do have that nice derby.”
He then pulled the derby off. “And the hairs grown out a bit for a change of weather.”
All the while the rest of World Wide Spies sat and laughed at the storytelling and exchange. “I must beg off for a drink of whiskey,” JFK said while the band went and set up for their gig. I spoke with Steve Robles about Yahoo search engines and web rankings when in a few minutes, JFK returned with a cup of beer. “This is American whiskey. Funny, I ask for a shot and I come back with this. Maybe the fella didn’t understand me, but this tastes like beer.”
Soon World Wide Spies hit the stage. JFK said he thought it was supposed to be warm in Bakersfield and the weather reminded him a bit of home. His humor and antics, always welcome then transitioned into a fine intro of the song “Individual” even though they joked they were waiting for Stevo who sat smiling and laughing as usual but then got right to business; right away I was hooked.
World Wide Spies is one of those rare rock bands who take their music seriously but their off-stage bantering is fun and they're easy to get to know. I still remember the first time JFK was introduced to me at Riley’s Tavern. It was a pleasant meeting and I’m sure I asked him far too many boring questions that he was kind enough to answer in his polite charm and wit.
What a great night of music and the Stanley Cup as World Wode Spies performed three new songs, “Three Cheers”, “Time Will Tell”, and “What Are We Fighting For”. Sure, World Wide Spies present songs meant for a much bigger stage, but then, the 80s were big, right? Gotta love these guys with their Big Country meets U2 meets a post-modern Psychedelic Furs twist as their tunes are as captivating as their charm… Stay tuned for a December 30 podcast recording as the guys from World Wide Spies are preparing an exclusive acoustic set just for Buck City… They will be performing at Montgomery World Plaza on December 30th as well. I’ll be there.
Can't get enough? Watch this fun video of the band...
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