Birdmonster swoops into the Bakersfield music scene
While Dirty Spanglish talks potty...
When I first started writing about the Bakersfield music scene I didn’t take my kid’s band, Dirty Spanglish too seriously. I mean, why would I? I was just joking during a car ride when Lando asked, “What should I name the band?” I belted out “Dirty Spanglish” as if it had been sitting on my tongue all day. It was for no other reason than I thought he’d laugh at me.
We do that to each other.
Fans hang out at the Dome wearing crazy merch thrown out by Dirty Spanglish
It’s like our constant reciting of Anchorman lines. Quick witted stupidity.
I really don’t even know why I thought up that name other than giggling at my own dorkiness wondering if people would get the idea of spanglish potty talk. I have a hard time reading spanglish novels. Actually, I can’t read spanglish novels even though I have tried. So it was more of a pondering than a band name. But Lando liked it.
And the rest of his band liked it too.
You'd think Matildakay joined the band. Lead singer Shaun's
hand can be seen holding a burger if you look closely
Well I still don’t take Dirty Spanglish too seriously, but I can say I really enjoy their “pop punk you can dance to” music as well as chronicling their ongoing adventures. I think they’ll be able to look back years from now and say, “We did some crazy stuff and pops was weird enough to write all about it.” Right now they’re all around 15 years old. They take their music as serious fun. And that’s all you can ask of kids these days. I mean, their first gig ever was to 7000 rowdies at the Rabobank Arena. That was hilarious fun because we all wondered: could they pull it off? They did. Hockey fans enjoyed them. Not to mention the classic moment of Lando sailing a hockey CD into infinity and running because he thought someone’s head was going to be severed on its downfall.
Pop punk kids look like a British sensation of popsters
But suddenly Dirty Spanglish has been called on a lot by the music scene to open for higher tiered bands, the latest being Birdmonster out of San Francisco.
Lando looks blue-handed and serene
Here’s a change of thought:
The Bakersfield music scene is small compared to other music scenes around the world. Comparatively to a large urban center it’s a barely visible mast on an ocean horizon of steaming juggernauts.
Peter Arcuni of the incredible rock band, Birdmonster
The Bakersfield Californian recently asked San Francisco band Birdmonster about the scene in San Francisco. Good question. You could almost hear Peter Arcuni of Birdmonster whisper, “It’s huge!”
Instead, he said:
There's a lot of bands. The idea of the Bay Area right now is, a lot of bands all kind of doing what they want to be doing. So there are bands that are doing more experimental weird stuff, there are bands doing rock 'n' roll, there are bands kind of doing everything. That's why I find San Francisco such an appealing place to be in a band because I don't find myself confined.
But what about the Bakersfield music scene?
Peter Arcuni digs in cause he can
It’s vibrant, diverse, and I hope bands like Birdmonster from large area scenes do find value in stopping through.
I explored Bakersfield’s The Dome recently where a zillion bands were billed for the same marathon evening: Road Narrows, Urban Sadhus, Birdmonster, Dirty Spanglish, Three Chord Whore, Red Italy and Out of Exile.
It was a little confusing. The show was actually in a building attached to the Dome. Poor marketing. They should give the adjacent building a snappy name like “Club Chencho” at The Dome or something. In fact, I thought it was called Chencho’s. Give it another name so that kids don’t turn away. I know some people got confused when there were two events going on simultaneously: an alcoholics anonymous event at The Dome and the music gig at Club Chenchos.
Enough complaining.
Big Daddy Ruben Val Verde of Bakersfield band From Ritual To Romance is heading up some of the smaller events for Tim Gardea Presents. He was on hand to tell me about what’s going on in the scene with his band. Yes, FRTR are getting more poppy. But that’s a good thing: more appeal and catchier tunes. We did a brief interview:
I have to say the Birdmonster event was one of my favorite Tim Gardea events I’ve attended. Of course there was the classic Karmahitlist show at the Reggae-less reggae fest, and World Leader Pretend at the now defunct Montgomery World Plaza. Both shows had their memorable moments that will go down in Bakersfield music lore.
The Birdmonster show was no slouch.
David Klein's ghost image hovers over his intense guitar riffs
I met up with Peter Arcuni and the rest of Birdmonster before their show for an interview about traveling through Bakersfield:
After they talked to me I snapped a few photos of Peter Arcuni writing his set list on his arm.
These DIY Indie rockers put on a high-energy show that matched pop punk band Delux from Tijuana and L.A.’s The Briggs who I once saw at the same venue. Lead man Peter Arcuni and the rest of Birdmonster are show men to say the least. Songs “Ice Age”, “The Bar In The Back Of The Basement” and “Cause You Can” really rocked the house as they bounded around the stage that doubles as a practice boxing rink.
*poor sound quality, kickin' images
Birdmonster bassist with a passion: Justin Tenuto
At one point the bass player was smashing a tambourine against his bass as he screamed, jumped onto an amp and let his emotions fly. That’s good music when you can see a band transformed by their own collective passion.
Road Narrows performs acoustic...
The other bands performing included Road Narrows: a one-man acoustic act. The kid looked like he was more with the emo crowd. But that didn’t matter. There was diversity in music and the bands generally supported one another, regardless of mixing genres.
Urban Sadhus was pure experiment in sound. There was two drum sets, congas, keyboards, a trombone, music samples, electric guitars. I’m sure I’m forgetting something. Their music was so loud I had to stand in the back to protect my ears. I give them two thumbs up for experimentation and bravado.
Get a glimpse of the WHORES
Three Chord Whore rocked the house. Lead vocalist, Darcie was crazy as usual, wanting to strangle Ruben for a defective mic stand. It was hilarious. My favorite song of theirs was “Horseface”. It’s a song with serious issues. And that’s why I like it. It’s sung with gusto as if each member of the band is calling you out for being a loser asshole. It’s great! I was excited to see I was mentioned in the liner notes of their 5-song untitled e.p. Thanks whores!
I never figured out who the drunk lady was they let onstage to sing with them. She swiveled her hips, sloshed her beer, but luckily didn’t fall off into the crowd.
Red Italy from Shafter, California has some awesome instrumentals. Interestingly enough I can actually hear one of their instrumentals in my head as I type this. They perform catchy yet hard melodic riffs that just pull you right in. Most interesting was the young guy they had dancing onstage with a strobe light. He had no instrument.
*poor sound quality, cool images
In a large urban center you could take the same band, but instead of their jeans and T-shirt look, put them in strange costumes and they would be performance art. The strobe light kid also had some black light sticks, or a jedi sword. Not really sure which, but the lights were a cool effect. I didn’t see too much of their music because I had to take off. It had already been a long night and the younger kids all had to get home.
I did miss goth metal band Out of Exile. I was bummed because these guys came all painted up like hybrids of Marilyn Mason and old school Kiss. When I was backstage helping Dirty Spanglish figure out where they needed to go I saw the painted up figures of Out of Exile passing through. They were ominous, dark, and I wanted to take a photo with them and Dirty Spanglish. I was too chicken to ask. I know their make-up was for show. But it worked. They looked like they would string me up right there if I asked anything like, “Could I please take a photo??”
Members of the Psycho Bums are punk rock mohawk monsters...
Dirty Spanglish put on what I thought was their best show ever. They went on right after Birdmonster’s high-flying energetic set. Instead of folding up, Those dirty spangle monsters fed off the Birdmonster energy. They put on a raucous show of their own that had kids moshing and one older guy jumping off his barstool to hear them perform some punked out Johnny Cash. Some of the punk kids in attendance are forming a band called Psycho Bums. You gotta dig that.
Dirty Spanglish bassist Nicky Jack Acid Crack and vocalist Shaun Alaniz
Blue electric power chords
Lando warms up before the show
They rocked out along with the members of the Late Greats who all showed up and partied to songs like “Electric”, “Zebras” and “She’s a Jones Soda”. They threw out big stuffed flowers, an Irish hat and a pair of Valentine’s Day boxers. One kid pulled the boxers over his pants for a nice touch.
The Late Greats showed some support
Another kid who was there to show support is a Bakersfield High student. He and a friend both recently took over the Bakersfield High football field press box during first period PE. They did mock commentary and eventually BA’d the entire field, and didn’t get caught! Talk about a classic move that will go down in high school infamy... “They were witnessed by hundreds,” Lando says.
Jordo from Black Dog gets into the Dirty Spanglish mosh
Lando before the show with Bakersfield High buddy...
It's all about having a good exit. Birdmonster booked it after
their show to head back to the Golden Gate...
What a great night! I'm having a fun time chronicling the adventures of Dirty Spanglish. You'll read about them again soon as they take on the Bakersfield High School Talent Show at the Harvey Auditorium. Should be classic...
Dirty Spanglish calls it a night...
Holy shit I think I’m going to wet myself. I’ve been listening to the best music lately. One album I bought. That doesn’t count for a review copy but I say heck, I’ll review it anyways. It’s Birdmonster’s album, No Midnight. They're out of San Francisco. Another I also bought but I plan on reviewing is some straight up raw punk: Bakersfield’s The 28s album What a Joke. You already read my review of The Filthies Your Turn. Holy shitake. And then there’s Better Angels of Our Nature by Bristol, England’s Seagull Strange. I promised them an interview. They found me on the web and shipped their just released album over. Damn it’s good. Another big gem I just got in the mail and I have goosbumps. I mean, real honest-to-goodness goosebumps. One of my favorite bands out of L.A. is World Wide Spies. It’s their 80s licks and jovial attitude. JFK rocks. He's the band's lead man, a sarcastic-filled witty Brit who always has a dozen stories to tell. The guys are damn cool to say the least. They have a new album coming out called Images of Black & White. I’m spinning the album, but had to take a break. I'm only on song three. If the album goes downhill I’ll be surprised. I think it’s starting off as an instant New New Wave classic. Shit. Gotta get back to work… expect a slew of reviews and an announcement very soon about my new column titled "North of Hollywood" that's coming in the February edition of Big Wheel Magazine… Holy shitake!
I was talking to Matt Munoz today about his incredible podcast: Bakotunes Radio. It's professional, edited wonderfully, and has great soundbites. And Munoz asks perfect questions of the band, Skalavera, who performed in Bakersfield recently.
"My podcast was done in a tuna can during a rainstorm in comparison to Bakotunes," I laughed in a phone call to Matt.
Listen to Episode 48. It's really good!
Thanks for the shout out!
Will you sign a corporate card just like everyone else?
What would Cubicle Dweller think if she were told to have corporate card etiquette? Would she even sign a card if passed into her cubicle? Or would she put a sticker on the card, pour Prozac all over it and write a note with an arrow that says, "Scratch and sniff"?
Everyone should know I’m a closet reader of Cubicle Dweller. She’s Bakersfield’s eyes to the cubicle life at the mysterious county offices of Kern. She takes medication, and often her co-workers push her to the brink of insanity where she nearly takes more than her recommended daily allowance. And it’s all true! Talk about snoring during your career. I once survived a county cubicle for around eight months. That’s about five dog years. Sure, I was in the more flamboyant marketing department. But there was still a little grey cloud hanging over my desk the same color as the partitions.
I shouldn’t complain. I work in a corporate environment today as well. But it’s not nearly as dry as working for Kern County, where cubicles could be filled with plastic flowers and you’d think: that’s normal.
My own unpublished Cubicles novel takes the corporate world and smashes in a dose of philosophy. I wrote it before The Office TV show, but after Office Space the movie. It’s a weird tale of office romance and is filled with enlightenment-filled axioms and non-etiquette reasoning.
This worker needs a card
Speaking of corporate etiquette, I had a big realization today after being tipped off to watch a Wall Street Journal video on corporate card etiquette. Yes, you heard it right: Corporate Card Etiquette. If you’ve been the recipient of having a card passed around at your workplace, and you never knew what to write, well, there is an answer out there for you. Sarah E. Needlemen not only wrote an entire careerjournal.com article titled, “Tips for Signing Office Cards When Inspiration Is Lacking,” she even stars in a video (Click on 'Video clip' under 'Related Links' in the middle of the article).
And you won’t be bored. Now that I’ve seen the video, dammit I’m paranoid of writing in the center of cards, and will forever shy from my long-winded diatribes and spectacularly novelesque happy birthday-isms.
The video itself is informative and strange. A giant man interviews a reporter who has flippy hair. She talks about etiquette but then the video cuts to Dilbert: the ultimate mocking of corporate America. I giggled.
So go watch the video and learn how to be a corporate card signing Michelangelo of your cubicle island…
Grave marker at Union Cemetery, Bakersfield, California
A few months ago I crept around Union Cemetery and stumbled onto the crypt of Alfred Harrell. I went back with Hectic Films to shoot part of the documentary for "Chronicle of the Lords". I've been back a few times since, including recently to take photos.
What could be inside but the mysterious bones of Bakersfield past?
The crypt of Alfred Harrell with an ominous door...
We filmed the newspaper man's giant crypt, a nearby Masonic ceremonial slab with a walkway and stairs, weird grave stones with strange emblems, then shot Ted Fritts and Don Fritts graves. The two brothers are buried side by side with mere flat stone markers. They were strangely pauper-like tombstones for newspaper publishers.
Two brothers: two newspapermen buried side by side
There were other flat stone graves near the crypt, one which marked Walter Kane.
What was in the planter on the grave? A chile pepper plant? Weird...
Who was Walter Kane? Some say he was a pedophile who lived on a creepy street and preyed on kids. Supposedly he was the Bakersfield Californian’s general manager until 1967. Was he a Harrell descendant? The leader of the White Orchid Society? Rumors, myth and urband legend indicate he was perverted and a drunk in the late 80s up until the time of his death. Are any of these allegations true? You tell me. I just wonder if he was like the twisted sort of Peter Pan that Glen Fitts supposedly was: a grown man who threw wild parties for teenage kids.
Masonic cermonial platform? Men in robes and strange insignias...
The Bakersfield Californian newspaper has a creepy side to its history, a lot of which we will never know. I’d love to be wandering the Californian building when family stories are freely being thrown among its brick halls. What would we hear? What ghosts would be mentioned? What deeds have been done, and what are the shadows of the Californian’s past?
What's inside the crypt of Alfred Harrell?
A filmmaker working for the Californian recently told me the newspaper building on Eye Street is supposedly haunted. I hope he explores the buildings darkest depths.
I often wonder if publisher Ginger Moorhouse released the 2003 articles on the Lords of Bakersfield, implicating her own brother, as part of a tactic to rid herself of the ghosts attached to her name: The Lords of Bakersfield, The White Orchid Society. Sure, the releasing of the articles attracted attention, but they also make a statement of distance, since as a publisher you’d think if she were protecting the image of her brother, she would have not allowed the release of such articles—although the articles are watered down. Moorhouse surely wasn’t protecting the image of her brother. My book, Lords: Part One definitely goes deep into the psychology of the urban legend...
Strange tree-headstone at Union Cemetery
The 2003 articles mark the release of a conspiracy into the consciousness of people beyond the scope of just Bakersfield, California, where such urban legends must have once run rampant in whispers and closed-door conversations.
Now everybody knows.
One of the questions I had when researching The Lords of Bakersfield was who were all the potential players. I’ve once heard that you could pick up certain local phone directories and all the players names would be right there for anyone to read. You just had to know which directory held the list.
A crypt of secrets, a doorway to Bakersfield lore...
Anyway, it was an interesting time out at the cemetery. It's been a lot of fun fictionalizing all the weird stories I've been hearing and researching. Dark stories of Bakersfield culture have become pop culture fascinations for all of us, making wandering through a cemetery a must for anyone interested in Bakersfield lore.
Read articles on my homepage, go pick up my book at Russo's, or order online if you want to jump further into Bakersfield's dark urban heart.
While former President Jimmy Carter is kissing up about passages in his book Palestine: Peace not Apartheid, Lisa Crystal Carver, author of Drugs Are Nice is not backing down from feisty words in her review of Alternadad. I don’t have to say much more about her review, “The Ironic Thing: Why I hate parenting memoirs like Alternadad,” other than her opening line, “Like surprisingly many people, I have always held a vague abhorrence for Neal Pollack.”
Of course I go on to call her a “mean tart” in my comments but really what’s interesting are the many hurt comments from people not getting what Carver’s trying to do. One commenter writes, “I don't understand your take here. This isn't a review of the Alternadad book, it's a personal attack on Pollack. Why? It smacks of jealousy and bitterness… I'm put off by this whole thing. Lisa Carver, I think I'll hold a "vague abhorrence" for you now. Get a life.”
Ouch.
You can read more comments here. And leave a comment on her review!
I go on to write in my comment of her review:
From the little contact I had with Lisa, it took a little while to tune into her unique blend of sarcasm and humor. She tears at the world around her--claws at it, really. And she does so in a way that makes you laugh and makes you squirm. All she seems to be doing is ripping the golden gleam off the gilded world around us. She has her own way of doing it. And that's OK. I get it.
I was surprised to get an email from Carver who felt I actually did ‘get’ her. That’s a relief. Here’s part of my note from Carver:
You are the first of 25 people to figure out that what I want is revolution, not to be liked, or for what's his name to be disliked… That guy shouldn't call himself The Greatest Living American Writer if he wants his books to be judged on a "good enough" basis, rather than is he or isn't he a pioneer, getting hurt and hurting others in his blundering, fearless, (and hopefully funny) fuck you into the scariest part of the woods.
Thanks Lisa.
(Read my interview and review of Carver’s Drug’s Are Nice)
Is this Cesareo? No! It's Danny "Iron Gunner" Garone
I was in the mood to play six degrees of Cesareo Garasa recently and up popped the new alt country band, Danny Garone and the Iron outlaws (I've been listening to their music a lot on bakotopia. I dig "Southside"). Yes folks, Cesareo is in another band. Only this is country/rock music right out of the six shooter of old Moonshine Deathbed—eternally resting in peace—a little more than a footnote now: one of Cesareo’s many connecting points to the Bakersfield music scene.
Connect him to Mento Buru, Black Dog, Moonshine Deathbed, Midnight Panic, Adema, Karmahitlist, Rocky Nash… oh man the list goes on.
Is this Cesareo? No! It's AJ Lopez
There I was at the Fish Fry (Fishlips). A few people arrived from the scene including one local I like to call The Opportunist. I know every artist is one. But that’s beside the point. She’s no artist. I guess I just don’t like the flaky type—those Kelloggs Corn Flake wanna be climbin’ the Bakersfield social elite networky type who lay big claims as if having found the next falootin’ gold rush. Whooee that's a mouthful.
Those floozies are a dime a dozen.
I once disagreed with her slurred drunken point of view in the back of a bar.
Ever since she looks through me like I'm an invisible Texas Tornader.
Iron Gunner at the helm
I’d already fallen into a mood with a Texas-sized headache, but still wandered into the music scene for a brief round-up with Cesareo’s latest posse. I met the Iron Gunner himself, Danny Garone, for a quick handshake, then sat back and listened to a few licks. There was some banjo, guitar work, a stand-up bass, and you know, all the fixuns for some footstompin’. There was a little of that too.
Bakersfield needs a lot more music like Danny Garone and the Iron Outlaws. Black Dog comes to mind...
Finally I snuck out for some fresh air—head still a mess, and gave up. I jammed into the Bakersfield night to zoom back to my cabin out in Ol’ Eander.
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